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Here you will find previous literary genius from the Manor online. Enjoy. January 2002. Plans for the Too Poor for the big Day Out Party released. Manor refuses to dump the controversial flat mate rotation system. Michael Slater dumped as possible fourth flat mate. New nickname for Spongy. Claw Retiring after illustrious SUANFC career. Bathroom tap stops dripping. Coming Up in the next Edition of the manoronline.com
Plans for the Too Poor for the big Day Out Party released. Manor resident Fintan O'Connor today released the plans for the Second Annual Too Poor for the Big Day out Party to a packed press conference on the steps of the Manor. Clad in only a bath robe, O'Connor highlighted the major events from the inaugural party such as the French Canadian's bold first attempt at a leggie and the now famous pip spitting competition. O'Connor would not confirm alleged reports that a new pool and slippery slide would be unveiled at the party but he would confirm that a hose had been purchased and that he had been perusing the Toys R Us catalogue over the Christmas period. O'Connor did however confirm that the Manor would be putting on two kegs, a spit roast and plates and napkins care of a somewhat questionable bet between Spongy and the French Canadian, Claw, Dave Philpot and Big Jimmy Birch. While initially wanting to consume the spoils of his bet from the hammock on his balcony, Spongy has confirmed that the food and beverages will be made available to party goers. O'Connor also announced a veritable who who's of the Sydney "O list" social scene would be attending the party. While announcing that he would attend the party, Scotty Baty has signed a contract stating that he will not be stealing any cutlery, crockery or food. Said Baty, "I dunno, it's been a while since I've been around the Claw in a social situation and haven't hidden in his jacket and briefcase enough forks and knives for the entire cast of Oliver, but I will try my hardest to behave. The time I've spent in the new Betty Ford Clinic for cutlery thieving addicts has really helped." O'Connor also advised that Big Jimmy Birch would be attending the party however he would not be drinking and planned on being the first party attendee to provide the "I've left something on the stove and must be heading off now" excuse to leave the party. Mr Birch was reached for comment this afternoon and responded with "that's just bullshit". O'Connor also confirmed the attendance of Fat Tan after his waist expanding, shopping spree jaunt to the United States. This will be the first social function Fats has to display his new Home Boy selection of clothing, said Tan "I've been growing my hair and think that a fro comb may be in order. Either way I'm gonna look special." While O'Connor was pleased to confirm the attendance of Fat Tan, he did advise that Fats would be removed from the party if he talks about his goal in the 2001 Grand Final. O'Connor went on, "either that or he'll be the target for the cherry pip spitting competition and let me tell ya, he's a big target." Finally, in a coup for the Manor, O'Connor also confirmed the performance of newly formed band "Handsome Claw Plus Four". HCP4 feature the Claw on guitar and salt shakers; Dave Philpot on guitar; Leigh on vocals and groupie duty and Spongy on drums in tank top and using only 1 arm. While not having any songs at the moment, HCP4 headman Claw wasn't too perturbed stating that the performance would be a glorified jam session. O'Connor closed by stating that the HCP4 performance would be simulcast on Triple J during breaks of the Hottest 100 "or maybe not". Details of the Too Poor for the Big Day Out Party can be found here. Manor refuses to dump the controversial flat mate rotation system. Against mounting criticism, the Manor has refused to dump it's controversial flat mate rotation system. Thought to be the main reason for the lack of bill paying of late, friends of the Manor residents have requested that Fino be allowed to return to living in the Manor. Said Dave Philpot, "Fino has been staying with me over the last week and has just been lazing around the house, bitching to me about my cooking, making a mess and he's friekin driving me crazy." Added Mrs O'Connor who has also hosted Fino of recent, "we really love Fintan and although we've missed him while he has been living away from home, it's about time he got his lazy arse off my couch and back on to his." O'Connor reacted with a scathing attack on the rotation system. Said O'Conner, "This whole rotation system was just a ploy to get me out of the Manor. Fellow Manor resident Spongy reacted to that last comment with "Fino was right on the money with that last statement." Claw added "he's never appreciated my guitar playing skills anyway." and "there is no rotation system. He said he was going our for a beer with Jimmy Birch and never returned." Michael Slater dumped as possible fourth flat mate. Michael Slater has been dumped as a possible fourth flat mate in the Manor. The Manor had been negotiating with Slater regarding a possible move by the former Test Cricketer into the spare bedroom at the end of the hallway upstairs. The negotiations with Slater ceased after his dumping from the Blues Squad this week. Said Claw "we needed some A list socialite activity and frankly he's not the man for us." and "during negotiations I played him on play station cricket and couldn't even beat me at that"; finally "now I can focus my efforts on convincing that French chick that works at the Lodge to move in with us." New nickname for Spongy. The manoronline.com has confirmed, from a reliable source, that Spongy has a new nickname "The Bus". While the reason for the nickname change is yet to be determined, we can report that it something to do his expanding waistline and his head down, bowl you over approach to basketball. Though not confirmed, it is also believed that Spongy was looking forward to referring to himself exclusively in the third person. Though Spongy would not comment on the record re the nickname change, in a private discussion with the manoronline.com he revealed that "The Bus was OK with the new nickname". Reaction to the new nickname by other Manor residents was mixed. Fino, responded with "I think Spongy started that one himself, you can't do that" and "damn it, I'm boycotting that friekin name" and finally "damn it's hot in here". It's believed that the last comment was not related to this story. For Fino's reaction to Spongy's new nickname, refer to Fino's Fables. Claw was not available for comment. Claw Retiring after illustrious SUANFC career. Unconfirmed reports have surfaced claiming Claw shall be retiring from a long and decorated career as Sydney Uni ruckman, full forward and instigator of social unrest. It appears that this report may be unfounded and that Claw is just entering the "When I was a young I was kicking everyones arse" stage of career. Claw was not available for comment. Please refer to Claws Corner for some comments he is prepared to make. Bathroom tap stops dripping. In a revelation, we can report that after two years of constant dripping, the tap in the bathroom shared by Fino and Spongy has stopped dripping. Said Fino "we got the landlord in and he put a washer in the tap". Also reached for comment was Bob the Cockroach who stated "it was like a mini shower for me... all of us in the Young St Cockroach community are devastated." Coming Up in the next Edition of the manoronline.com Sydney reacts to the launch of the manoronline.com. Bruce McAvaney - "the manoronline, it's special" Eddie McGuire - "cutting edge...Channel 9 are happy to be associated with the fledgling website...we're talking with representatives of the Manor re a new show titled Who wants to be in the Manor." Claw - "no comment" Fat Tan - "it's almost as good looking as me" Nicky Webster - "I've been offered a part in the manoronline.com, the musical. Boy am I excited to be working with such talents as O'Connor, Spong and Stanley." Foxtel Executive - "We'll give you 50 million for the rights to the manoronline.com." The Pizza delivery guy from Robertas on Parramatta Road - "anyone order a pizza".
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