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Welcome to the Manor Online!
You have reached the official site of the Manor of Glebe. This page chronicles the lives, loves and general complaints of the current residents of the Manor - Claw, Fino, Moose and the Spongy. This weeks headlines: NZ cricket team release real reason for not playing their World Cup match in Kenya, they don't want to miss the Manor "Victims of Valentines" party. Domer and Schpear turn down offer to play on British Davis Cup team. UN inspectors refused entry to Manor "Victims of Valentines Party", cry foul. Steve Waugh pushes claim for recall to World Cup squad with 200 in back yard cricket. Strength overtake South Africa on the ICC World Test Championship standings, Pollock not amused. Fino self proclaimed "employee of the century". Coming Up in the next Edition of the manoronline.com
NZ cricket team release real reason for not playing their World Cup match in Kenya, they don't want to miss the Manor "Victims of Valentines" party. In a revelation, NZ cricket captain Stephen Fleming advised a packed media conference in Johannesburg today that indeed they weren't scared of playing cricket in Kenya rather they just wanted to attend the inaugural Manor Victims of Valentines day party. Fleming stated "given the low quality of opposition provided by India in their recent tour, we thought this would be a good opportunity to have a practice match with the much vaunted Strength cricket team and to spend some quality time at the Manor with the Sydney Uni footy players". It is believed that England are also considering a boycott of their game against Zimbabwe to return to Sydney for the VOV party. Said Captain Nasser Hussain "I could do with another session at the Manor and I haven't had a beer with Domer since our last bender at Craven Cottage watching Fulham." Fleming's outburst was instigated by the news that the Manor will again be hosting an event surely to attract the cream of Sydney's A list celebrities. The Manor will be providing two kegs, Fino's Bin of Death and "the odd snack". Said Domer "it will be an event for the ages" and "where are my damn keys". Domer and Schpear turn down offer to play on British Davis Cup team. The British Davis Cup team is again in turmoil after Domer Tilden and the Schpear declined invitations to play in the upcoming Davis Cup tie with Australia in Sydney. Domer and Schpear were approached to play after Tim Henman and Greg Rusedski were ruled out of the tie due to injuries. It is believed that Alex Bogdanovic and Miles Maclagan will now represent the British at the tie. When the Captain of the British Team Roger Taylor was quizzed re the eligibility of Domer and Schpear (who were both born in Australia) as 'British' tennis players, he responded by advising that they had both recently returned from living in London and apparently enjoyed themselves. In advising that they would be unable to play at their press conference, Schpear advised that "I am going to Dub's party on the same day and wouldn't mind a sleep in on Sunday as I'll be on the gas", Domer added "what am I doing here?" and "shit, I can't find my shoes" followed by "someone told me this is where I sign up for Gaelic football" UN inspectors refused entry to Manor "Victims of Valentines Party", cry foul. In a bold move, the Manor has declined to allow the UN weapons inspectors into the Victims of Valentines party. In a press release explaining their actions, Manor resident Fino has advised that "those inspectors are so B list now, no one wants them around". UN Secretary General Kofi Annan was reportedly not concerned about the refused entry of the Weapons inspectors to the VOV party stating "those friekin inspectors are always bitching too me when they can't get in anywhere. They woke me up last weekend after they were refused entry to the Orient after a late night session with Manor resident Fino who was allegedly robed in a sheepskin jacket." Steve Waugh pushes claims for recall to World Cup squad with 200 in back yard cricket. Steve Waugh has again pushed his claim for a last minute inclusion in the Australian World Cup squad after a glorious double century in a game of backyard cricket at the Manor. Waugh's innings came during a friendly Sunday afternoon game with some past Aussie cricketing greats against the Manor residents and included three lost balls, 8 beers and 10 sixes. There was minor controversy when Waugh ignored the 6 and out rule much to the chagrin of Moose. Said Domer "that's a bit rough". Waugh was said to be so encouraged by his innings that during a post game sausage sizzle, he was overheard asking Chairman of Selectors Trevor Hohns whether he would reconsider his inclusion in the squad. Hohns only response was "who the hell are you?". Following his own good performance with the ball during the Manor innings, bowler Terry Alderman is also considering a come back to the Aussie one day team. After have opening batsmen Fino stumped in the opening over he was heard saying "I've still got it", "let's see if Thommo can do that" and "I'd swing it even if the ball wasn't half taped." Strength overtake South Africa on the ICC World Test Cricket Championship standings, Pollock not amused. South African cricket captain Shaun Pollock was somewhat churlish today in a press conference after he was advised that the Forest Lodge Hotel Strength Cricket Team had overtaken South Africa in the ICC World Test Cricket Championship standings. After the Strength bowled out a 6 man Ryde team last week for 34 and made the total only for the loss of out of form batsmen Fintan O'Conner, the Strength overtook South Africa on the basis that they had not yet played the Ryde outfit. Commenting on their side's rise to the top of the World rankings, Strength Captain/Coach Naamon Eurell said "We have performed at a high level this year, save for Fino, and deserve our ranking" and "we look forward to telling that loser Pollock how good we are when we next see him at the lodge". Added Strength player Hamish Inglis "everybody was kung foo fighting". A volley of personal barbs ensued between the two captains after the remark from Eurells. Said Pollock "he's fat and has no talent" to which Eurell remarked "what is a Protea anyway, are we supposed to be scared of the SA flowers?" Stay tuned for more news on this story. Fino self proclaimed "employee of the century." In a bold statement, Manor resident Fino was recently overheard stating that he was "...simply the employee of the century...". It is believed this mark was in response to continual barbs leveled at O'Connor by Manor Co-residents after his regular Saturday morning wake up call from the Manager at Rebel with a gentle reminder that "he was supposed to start 30 minutes ago". Manor Department of Bullshit Statement investigation (MDBSI) spokesmen Claw has confirmed that Fino is somewhere between 2.1 and 2.11 billion on the Forbes Employee of the Century list, just above Bankstown resident Murray Dale and just below John McGorn from Wagga. Said claw, here at the MDBSI we try to curb the amount of bullshit statements eminating from Fino and while we normally turn a blind eye to this sort of ludicrous statement, this time Fino went too far. O'Connor late retracted the statement. Coming Up in the next Edition of the manoronline.com Sydney reacts to the launch of the manoronline.com. Bruce McAvaney - "the manoronline, it's special" Eddie McGuire - "cutting edge...Channel 9 are happy to be associated with the fledgling website...we're talking with representatives of the Manor re a new show titled Who wants to be in the Manor." Claw - "no comment" Fat Tan - "it's almost as good looking as me" Nicky Webster - "I've been offered a part in the manoronline.com, the musical. Boy am I excited to be working with such talents as O'Connor, Spong and Stanley." Foxtel Executive - "We'll give you 50 million for the rights to the manoronline.com." The Pizza delivery guy from Robertas on Parramatta Road - "anyone order a pizza". Contacting the Manor. If you would like to contact us or would like to submit a comment or article to be included on our website please send your e-mail to the following address:
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